There are few entertainers who can compare with the delightfully unique charm of Jeff Goldblum. Active in the industry since 1974, Jeff is a talented actor and a respected jazz musician, and he has retained his status as a sex symbol well into his 60s. Beloved classics and their sequels, like Jurassic Park and Independence Day, would be nothing without his charisma and timeless movie quotes in his signature stuttered cadence. There are so many incredible Goldblum-isms that it’s hard to choose which ones are the best. Let’s take a look at a list of 10 quotes from some of Mr. Goldblum’s most iconic movie moments.
“Change Is Like Death.”
Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Jeff Goldblum has been in more Jurassic Park movies than any other actor, and it is no wonder. His sarcastic attitude and complete exasperation at everything that happens around him make the entire situation where dinosaurs run rampant even more fun.
In the new Jurassic World section of the franchise, Ian was back. His first appearance back was when he spoke in a congressional hearing about the fate of the dinosaurs. Ian seemed to be the only one who knew better when he told the committee that “Change is like death. You don’t know what it looks like until you’re standing at the gates.”
“It’s A Big Conspiracy.”
Jack Bellicec, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1978)
One of the rare remakes that were better than the original movie was the 1978 remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The cast in the remake was top-notch with names like Donald Sutherland, Leonard Nimoy, and a young Jeff Goldblum.
The movie was about an alien invasion that was happening under everyone’s noses, and no one knew it was happening until it was too late. Goldblum played a business owner named Jack and he was one of the few people who knew something like this could happen. He said “it’s a big conspiracy,” and when asked what was, he simply said, “everything.”
“That’s How All Of This Starts.”
Dr. Ian Malcolm, The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
For almost every appearance that Dr. Ian Malcolm appeared in during the Invasion of the Body Snatchers franchise, he could only look on in shocked wonder when people made the dumbest decisions imaginable. In Lost World, he couldn’t hold his tongue anymore.
In this movie, Dr. John Hammond invites Ian to his home to discuss something important. That is when he revealed there was a second facility engineering dinosaurs. Ian heads out and when he sees the dinosaurs again, one of the men with him says they are “magnificent.” Ian responds, “That’s how all of this starts. Then later there’s running and screaming.”
“Why Is There A Watermelon There?”
New Jersey, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)
One good way to describe The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension is that it is like taking a serial series and then releasing just one movie in the middle of everything. It has become a cult classic thanks to this fact, and it might be one of the most quotable movies in history.
Jeff Goldblum had a role in the movie where he played New Jersey. At one point, he and Bonzai are heading through a facility with guns out, and then New Jersey notices something and asks, “why is there a watermelon there?” Bonzai says he will explain it later, but never does, and that is why it’s a perfect line in this movie.
“I’m Getting Tired Of Everything I Write Being Read In The Can.”
Michael Gold, The Big Chill (1983)
The Big Chill was a 1983 dialogue-driven drama about a group of college friends who reunite when one of their friends dies by suicide. As they attend the funeral, and the days surrounding it, they rekindle old friendships, old grudges resurface, and they figure out that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Jeff Goldblum is Michael Gold, a journalist who writes for People magazine. However, he has bigger aspirations but is full of self-doubt and his old friends don’t take him seriously. When talking about how his work isn’t as important as he would like, he says, “I’m getting tired of everything I write being read in the can,” meaning all his stories are short enough to read in a bathroom trip.
“Life Finds A Way.”
Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park (1993)
“I’m simply saying that life, uh… finds a way,” from Jurassic Park is easily one of Jeff Goldblum’s most memorable quotes. Ever the skeptic, Dr. Ian Malcolm (Goldblum) is not afraid to let his feelings be known after he is assured that the dinosaurs cannot breed on their own in the park, and he goes off on a flustered rant about life.
Ian may have more swagger and a better sense of style than your average mathematician, but he also knows what he’s talking about.
“What Am I Working On?”
Seth Brundle, The Fly (1986)
“What am I working on? Uhh… I’m working on something that will change the world, and human life as we know it.” This is the intriguing opening line to the 1986 remake of the science fiction horror flick, The Fly.
Seth Brundle (Goldblum) is an ambitious but socially awkward scientist who is eager to change the world with his new invention of the teleportation machine. He uses tidbits of information like this quote to coax the interest of a beautiful woman, without realizing that she is, in fact, a reporter who wants to do a story on his work.
“Nice To Meet You, Mr. Dude.”
Mac, Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)
The full quote is, “Hi! I’m Mac. Nice to meet you, Mr. Dude.” And proceeds with “Dr. Dude,” causing Mac to correct himself with, “Oh! Dr. Dude!”
Jeff Goldblum plays a fuzzy alien named Mac in this sci-fi rom-com. Mac comes to earth with some of his alien friends to meet some hot Earth girls. He doesn’t speak English, so Goldblum actually has very little dialogue, but fortunately for him, that doesn’t seem to hurt his chances with the ladies. Most of the lines he does involve him hilariously bungling Earth customs and the English language.
“He Wasn’t The President Yet!”
David Levinson, Independence Day (1996)
Jeff Goldblum has been making geeks sexy since, well, forever, probably, but definitely since Independence Day. This amusing back and forth takes place between David Levinson (Goldblum) and his father, while awkwardly awaiting a meeting with the President.
David admits he once punched him in the face because he thought he was having an affair with his wife, but it so doesn’t count since he wasn’t actually the President yet. Fair enough, Levinson.
“God Creates Dinosaurs…”
The first Jurassic Park is full of quotable quotes like, “God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs. God creates Man, man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.” Ian Malcolm spends much of the movie either flirting with Dr. Ellie Sattler, being pretentious, or flirting with Ellie while being pretentious.
Ellie flips the script on him by playfully adding on to his intellectual musings about the creation of the park. The best part of this scene is the concerned look on Ian’s face, while Alan just chuckles to himself next to them.
“Why Are You Handing Me The Melt Stick?”
Grandmaster, Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
The Grandmaster is pretty fond of melting people that “displease him,” which basically means he melts them for pretty much anything. He even melts his cousin, Carlo.
Fortunately for Loki, the Grandmaster has a real soft spot for him and acts shocked by Topaz’s suggestion. Almost everything that The Grandmaster says in Thor: Ragnarok is worthy of this list, but this one makes the cut for Goldblum’s hysterical delivery.
“Help Me. Help Me Be Human.”
The Fly has a ton of great quotes and chilling visuals to make the audience do as Geena Davis warns and “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” The “Help me be human,” line occurs at the climax of the movie after a grotesque-looking Seth Brundle has maimed Veronica’s creepy ex-boyfriend.
She stops him before he kills him, only for him to crawl up the wall and beg her to “help [him] be human” by combining their DNA in his teleportation machine.
“When Did God Start Caring About Any Of Us?”
Aaron, The Prince Of Egypt (1998)
Steven Spielberg’s retelling of this Old Testament Bible story is a gorgeously animated film that is highly underrated. Jeff Goldblum plays the small but poignant role of Moses’s brother, Aaron.
He is bitter and angry with Moses for only bothering to help his people after so many years of living as their master, and he expresses his anger in this quote: “God? When did God start caring about any of us? In fact, Moses, when did you start caring about slaves? Was it when you found out that you were one of us?” Aaron’s anger then dissolves into years of pain and strikes just as much of a chord in the audience as it does in Moses.
“Did He Just Throw My Cat Out Of The Window?”
Deputy Kovacs, The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
Wes Anderson’s colorful comedy The Grand Budapest Hotel is full of quirky characters and surprisingly funny scenes. One of these occurs when a conversation between Goldblum’s Deputy Kovacs and a spoiled heir named Dmitri does not go well.
One of his men retaliates by nonchalantly tossing the Deputy’s cat out of the window, leaving a baffled and concerned Deputy Kovacs to process what just happened.
“Must Go Faster.”
Jurassic Park (1993) & Independence Day (1996)
The line is first uttered by Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park when their jeep is being chased by an enraged t-rex. The catchy line and the image of the dinosaur in the rearview mirror got so popular, that Goldblum recycled it to use in another action blockbuster Independence Day.
He says it for the second time near the end of the film when he and Will Smith are flying for their lives to escape the alien ship.
